The Year of Self Health

  

  The first of January 2022 has brought several life changes for me.  I stopped drinking soda which is a HUGE switch for me.  Plus I switched to a plant based diet (eating as little meat as possible) and I have made the promise to my health both mental and physical.  I have a lot of health issues prominent on both sides of my family and my father died young due to his unwillingness to change his dietary habits.  I am now 40 and I no longer want to subject my body or my family to the risks of poor dietary habits.  Im about two or three weeks into this change and I feel better.  Its not just food that I have changed as well.  My mental health is better due to my listening to a full body relaxation meditation as I am going to sleep.  I am hoping to get into a routine or checklist to also incorporate a morning meditation as well and possibly some yoga.  Moving around more is also a goal.  All of this so far has not been too difficult to achieve and I have honestly felt better and more at peace mentally which is a great motivation for me to continue.  I have signed up for a half marathon my first one in several years (its not until August) but now Im looking forward to it.  All of this to go into saying that for years I shrugged off self care for myself thinking that I wasnt good at it and I had so many other things to do.  Once I had all the things I needed to do taken care of then I could focus on a me routine.  Enter prescription anti anxiety medications and eczema flare ups so bad that cortisone shots for 3 weeks in a row to calm the raging nerves within my system.  As a former smoker, the chemical relief that came with smoking has also been a struggle not to fall into.  Over the break I took some time to breathe and I realized that I cannot continue in this fashion if I do not want to repeat my father's steps.  Its been three years (four in July) since we lost him and I still feel the ache and sorrow each day.  I am a grown adult and a parent myself but I still look to him for advice.  Losing him shattered me to my core and the pieces that came back together are not the same person I was before.  

Anyway this is to say the entire purpose of focusing on my self health is to try and take care of me in the best possible way I can.  I give myself a manicure each week, not because I particularly care about my nails being cute and pretty but because it helps with the hangnails and the splitting and chipping of my nails.  I have also found that the actual time that I am sitting working on my nails is therapeutic for me.  I have started using Libby for audiobooks.  Listening to an audiobook and working on my nails feels like I am doing something quite decadent and chocolate covered without the calories.  I feel more relaxed and the tension seems to leave my shoulders and I actually like the fact that my nails look better.  I am not an expert by any one's imagination but I will get better and the time I take for myself and what it does for me I think is more valuable.  I have also started to use a mask for my hair and actually styling my hair for work instead of throwing it up in a bun as well as actually moisturizing my face and hands.  My thumb having the skin split because it was so dry and waking up looking like something death warmed over even though I had actually slept well was a good motivator.  And again I am noticing that I am enjoying taking the time to myself.  My hair actually looks nice and my husband gets to enjoy me wearing my hair down.  Something he loves and wished I would have done for years.  The funniest thing is that again as I started to take better care of myself, I am feeling better and more centered and calm.  

I also have found that I want to read more books outside the my typical genre of fantasy.  I love the characters and the world building but I feel like I want to see if I can grow my thoughts and not just my imagination.  I dont have an actual amount of books or how many different genres I want to explore but I definitely know that I have already found a few interesting books that are not within my typical realm of Fantasy.

This all translates into me being better prepared to handle classroom management because I react emotionally to situations and so having a more calm and centered self allows me to pause before my emotions spill over.  That's not to say that I wont loose my cool every once in a while but hey I'm human and I will make mistakes but I think with this overall approach I will be in a better position to handle the more difficult situations without exploding.   

I also hope to begin getting my Masters in the fall and I think the more I work on myself now the better position I will be in once my classes start.  This is a journey and I understand that I need to take small steps and I might struggle but I need to persevere (my word for the year) because ultimately the payoff with be worth it.